Being a woman and being successful

I just started reading Cheryl Sandberg's Lean In and I've got to respond. I'm only 4 chapters in, and I've resonated with more of her story than I expected. Especially Chapter 3 on Success and Likeability. I was the smart girl in grade school and high school. I hated the label. You might think, what's so bad about being the smart kid? That sounds like a good thing. Well, yes. And no. My peers didn't like me. I can still remember the exact words my best friend said to me in a moment of anger. What did she attack as a way to put me down and elevate herself? My enrollment in the district's program for gifted kids, and the view that I lorded it over everyone else (not true). I'd bet that she forgot those words a long time ago, but I replayed them over and over in my head as evidence of how I was viewed by other kids. Through that encounter, and several others, I learned that being successful at school meant being disliked by my peers. 

In high school, I changed schools between my freshman and sophomore years, nervous about an unknown environment, but looking forward to shedding the "smart girl" label. It didn't take long for a few of my teachers and several of my classmates to recognize that learning came easily for me, however. Even though I didn't have the stigma of a clearly defined label, it was evident to those who took notice that I was still successful at school. In that environment, however, I wasn't the only highly successful female student. I "successfully" blended into the crowd, not taking AP classes or challenging myself too much. 

I went on to study mechanical engineering in college. Every person you meet when you're in college invariably asks, "What's your major?" For me, the nearly invariable response I got upon answering was, "Wow!"  I say nearly invariable because I can count on one hand the number of people who had a different response. I doubt most of those folks would have reacted the same way if I had been male. I went into engineering because I was good at math and science, and because I made better grades than a good number of my male peers. I graduated, with honors, then made some decisions that sent my career path down an entirely different road. For a while, I enjoyed the "normal" reactions to my jobs, which were widely accepted "normal" jobs for a female to have: legal assistant, financial administrator, bookkeeper.  Right now I'm at another crossroad in my career, bored with the typical female roles but intimidated by the idea of breaking out of the mold (again).  I know I must, so reading this book is one of my tactics to gather some courage.